I Have a Tool for That

There's a drawer in my kitchen that used to hold normal things. Batteries. Rubber bands. A soy sauce packet from 2018.

It's become something else now. I didn't notice it happening. One day I opened it and realized it was a medical supply store. Inventory, as of this morning: A rubber jar opener, because jars have become personally offended by me.

A metal jar opener, for the jars that laughed at the rubber one. A long-handled shoehorn, which I resisted for years and now consider one of the great inventions of mankind.

A grabber stick. The kind with a claw on the end. Originally purchased to reach something on a high shelf. Now used for everything, including picking things up off the floor so I don't have to make the noise.

A pill organizer with the days of the week on it. It's for vitamins. Just vitamins. Mostly vitamins. A magnifying glass, for reading the pill organizer. A little spatula specifically designed to scrape the last of the lotion out of the bottle, because lotion now costs what a steak used to cost and I'm not leaving any behind.

A heating pad. A second heating pad. Nobody knows where it came from.

I used to see this drawer at my grandmother's house and think it was charmingly old. I'm not sure when it became mine. I know I bought every one of these things on purpose, one at a time, each time thinking, well, that's just practical.

That's how it gets you. One practical tool at a time.

The soy sauce packet is still in there, by the way. It's the last of the old guard. I'm keeping it out of respect.